Rollercoaster of Life

Back again ... a tad more than a week since last post, but I think I'm keeping up with the new schedule.

This week has been filled with ups and downs on the writing front. To wit:

• Continued rereading my novel, Cosmic Ray, in preparation to do the second draft.
• Submitted a story to my writers' group for critique. The story is one for inclusion in our next ghost story anthology. The critique didn't go so well, I feel.
• Got a poster and press release for a "Local Author Event" I'm part of (will try to attach the image below).

Up, down, up. High, low, high. Unfortunately, they didn't go exactly in that order!

So I'm wondering, if I may ask anyone reading: How do you bounce back from rejection? How do you hack it when things make you question whether you should go on?

I've had times when I've said, "I should just give up trying to be a writer." But I've found I couldn't. Yet I'm getting towards 50 now, and I've put in what I consider my best efforts yet. And still I'm feeling low about some of it. So how to keep getting up off the mat and back in the fight?

I got back to rereading Cosmic Ray today, and it helped a little. I think I'm going to have to do some pretty massive rewriting of the first five chapters, but it gets better around Chapters 7 and 8. So that gives me some hope.

What gives you hope?

Back to the Battle!

Been away from this blog for some time, but am hoping to get it going on a regular basis - at least once per week - again.

The good news is, I've been busy! A lot of it has been writing. I finished my novel, "Cosmic Ray." Well, I finished it as in "I got to the end of the story." It now needs a re-read and a lot of revision, but I've begun that process. Finding it daunting, though. I've done a lot of writing recently, but revision? Not so much. So shifting gears has proved a little tough. More on that in a moment ...

Also wrote two short stories for consideration in an anthology put out by the North Shore Writers' Group here in Salem, MA. I'm a member of the group, and my story, "An Ill Wind," about a (maybe) superhero whose alter-ego died, is in the first book, Ghost Writers. Now, I've picked one of the new stories to ... revise!

So, yes ... having some problems with revision. One issue is that I seem to need few distractions around me when I revise. When writing, I seem able to tune out the chatter of others around me, but not when revising. I have less time home alone (I used to stay up quite late, and did some work after everyone else went to bed, but not anymore), so it's been hard to get to. I've bought a book on how to "self-edit" for writers. I am going to get it done ... it's just NEVER as fast as I'd like it to be.

On the non-writing front, I finally got a full-time permanent job, so I am less stressed about that. I even have some time to write while at work. Plus!

Been reading some good sci-fi and other books. A friend turned me on to Ray Bradbury. My writing often has a certain "flowery/florid" quality, and my friend said Ray was expert at this. Boy was she right! I read Something Wicked This Way Comes, and was blown away by how he found new, poetic ways to say things. That's something I love doing.

Also finally reading early Flash Gordon strips in prep for my revising of "Cosmic Ray." It's a tribute to Flash Gordon-y stuff, so I want to steep myself in Flash and other Flash-like things as I approach the rewriting and finalizing.

Also checking out some "Legion of Super-Heroes" comics in prep for my next novel project, about which I'll say very little at this point.

I like to end with a (series of) question(s) ... this one's for the fellow writers out there: How do you manage your revisions? How do you manage to "kill your darlings" (i.e. get rid of some of the words you've so lovingly written)? And what do you do when you're not sure whether the "new stuff" is better or worse than the "old stuff" (that which you're removing/replacing)?

Review: Revelation Space

Been trying to get more reading done, and to read some of the most recommended books in my preferred genre. Here's the first.

Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was a pretty awesome book, mainly for the concepts, mood, plot, and characters. Just when I thought I'd figured out where Reynolds was headed, he went somewhere else. Lots of interesting, mind-stretching ideas, and the world building was top notch. The only downside? I found the writing a little cold. It might be by design, but Reynolds' world here is not a place with much love. Even anger is mostly muted. When he does dip into the romance/sexual pool, it's good. Again, maybe the chilliness of the characters was intended? I definitely want to read more in this series.

View all my reviews

Random Thoughts

Been another month (well, a little more)! Sorry. Lots of reasons, but none of real import, I suspect.

Just to reiterate, this is my blog about writing - no politics or really personal stories here, unless they relate to my writing in some valid way. Also, these posts aren't going to be heavily edited ... I want to chat and share, but I'm saving my agonized-over writing for my fiction.

1. Perfect/Ideal Dream vs. Imperfect/Messy Reality

My wife and I have been re-watching one of my favorite shows - Carnivale - an HBO series from the early 2000s. Every time I re-watch it (I guess every couple of years), my mind reels, and I wonder where the show's creator would have taken it. You see, the show was canceled after two seasons. It had been planned to run six. So, of course, like a good little Information Age guy, I go scouting around online for info. With this show, there's a good bit of material online. It's really not quite satisfying, though. It gives you enough to speculate, but no firm answers.

And that is what makes it perfect.

What do I mean? Well, you can't really be unhappy with how he (the show's creator) ended it, 'cause he never did. Yes, you can be upset with how it actually ended (inconclusively) on TV or DVD, but, since we never got to see the finale as he would have done it ...

Instead, we can only think, "Wow - just imagine! Maybe he would have gone here?" And because there are so many possibilities in our own heads, and because nothing was set down on tape (or film, or paper, or whatever), we can't quibble with the mistakes made, the poor choices, the opportunities blown, etc. Maybe if Carnivale had ended ... if the creator had been allowed to complete his six seasons, it wouldn't be one of my favorite shows? But I'll never know.

I think sometimes it's like this when writing my own work, too. It's so perfect and pristine in my head. I haven't messed up yet. I haven't put down any awkward sentences yet. I haven't gone down any avenues with my plot that I later regretted and said, "Crap, now I have to go back and rewrite that whole section!" Really, my only regret before I've written something is that I don't yet have it down on paper (or screen, or whatever) for myself and others to read.

But you have to take the plunge, at least if you ever want to share your work with others. Sure, many might dislike it, might "diss" the choices you made or the actual turns of phrase you've set down, but ... also? Some ... even just a few ... might really like it.

And then you can call it "done" and move on to the next thing.

2. Exciting Points

Had a couple super-cool-groovy things happen to me with my novel-in-progress recently.

First, a scene that I'd had in my head for a long time, maybe not since I started the book, but certainly pretty early on ... well, I came to that scene in the book. So exciting to see this thing that's been in my head for so long, and that is pivotal to the story, come to fruition. It's not like getting to the ending of the book, but it's a bit like that - like reaching a finish line, or something striven for.

Also, I was doing something ... showering, I think ... when I was suddenly able to visualize in my head the basic plot for the rest of the book. Now, I don't tend to write outlines for my book ahead of time. I have basic ideas, some of which I write down, others that I don't, but I don't really tend to have things broken down into chapters, etc.

But this had happened with my first book, Falling Into Fate, too: I came to a point at which I just suddenly could visualize what had to happen all the way through to the end of the book. I hurriedly wrote it all down, and, from that point, it felt like I was riding a waterfall comfortably to the end of my first draft. I am hoping that's what will happen this time, too. But it felt good to get the ideas down on paper (well, the screen).

That's it for now! Do you folks find similar things with your works?

What Makes a Hero? My Take ...

Sorry for the delay between posts - been a rough month!

So my question for consideration today is: What makes a hero? For you? What kinds of heroes do you like to write or read about?

It seems the idea of what makes a good hero changes over time. Yes, of course there are some constants, and, as people like Joseph Campbell will tell you, there are some basic types of stories that are told and re-told. But I think the kinds of guys we like to follow as main characters in our genre fiction do tend to morph over the decades.

What do I mean? Well ...

I've realized I like to write and read about a type of hero (by the way, not intending to slight heroines here ... I have written from a female point-of-view at times, and hope to again, but, being a man, I'll admit I slip more easily into the male viewpoint when writing) that's kind of out of vogue. My kind of hero was more popular in the 1970s. Which is really no surprise, since my formative years were in that decade. These were the sorts of heroes I read about and watched back then:

They tended to be flawed. They tended to be sensitive and/or vulnerable - not really "larger than life," but approachable. They weren't flawless of body or face. But they were also Good guys, trying to do the right thing by everyone, even when they got dumped on by their friends for doing so.

Some examples?

Luke Skywalker, I think, is one. Han Solo was the more traditional hero in "Star Wars" - confident, handsome, skilled, and "badass." Luke was wide-eyed, hopeful, nervous ... but also pure, willing to believe, and easy to hurt. He won me over. Yes, by "Return of the Jedi," he'd become confident and powerful, but he still seemed to have that real Good about him, a sensitivity.

Of course there's Peter Parker/Spider-Man. I realize he came out of the 1960s, but I started reading his adventures in the '70s, and I really related to him. Again, he took as much crap from his friends as from his enemies, but he always tried to do the good and right thing, sure that it was worth doing, even if he failed and was laughed at.

Been re-watching "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century," and, while Buck (played by Gil Gerard) is a pretty confident ladies man type, he's not the heroic ideal of today ... the actor was kind of pudgy and imperfect looking ... he got by on charm and sincerity a lot.

Even Indiana Jones ... yes, he was skilled and heroic, but his plans blew up in his face a lot, and he had to improvise. He could be hurt by women and by cutting remarks from his father.

Okay, so how do these compare with later heroes? You get into the '80s, and you get musclebound guys like Schwarzenegger and Stallone, and you get seemingly indestructible ones, too. Even later, you've got guys who are downright mean, dark, anti-heroes, really ... look at the differences between the 1970s Superman and the more recent one. You might consider Chris Pratt's Starlord from last year's "Guardians of the Galaxy" to be a throwback, and he was, in some ways, but even he had to "buff up" for the role. No more doughy, soft guys in heroic roles!

So I'll admit it ... my heroes in my stories tend to the nerdy, the flabby (at least at first), the friendly, the messed up ... can I succeed writing stories like that? Will people accept these "dinosaurs," or has the time of those sorts of characters passed?

What types of heroes do you like?

Excerpt Time!

One of the things I'd hoped to do with this blog is share my writing. So, today, I bring you the first of, I hope, many excerpts.

This is from my published novel, "Falling Into Fate." It's from an early chapter, and it really starts in motion the mission my little band of characters undertakes. Any questions, feel free to ask!

I'd love comments and/or followers!


From Chapter Three ...


The town, West Serra Land, had been decimated by a band of marauders. I’d read in history books about the raping and pillaging that was supposed to have gone on in medieval times, but I’d never imagined I’d end up seeing what the results looked like firsthand. Flames chewed up rickety wooden structures, and bloodied bodies, some with weeping relatives crouched around them, darkened the landscape. Up to this point I can tell you I’d been somewhat nonchalant about my transformation and adventure—I wasn’t sure yet whether to believe it was really happening or that it was some sort of psychotic episode, but somehow it hadn’t turned me into a quivering jellyfish. Now, as I saw what looked, smelled, and felt like real death for the first time, I began to truly know fear.
 
The others moved about in the ashes, turning over body after body and swearing. Domitrus was administering some sort of liquid to a wounded man, who convulsed, wracked with pain, and spit it up. Orlacc and Therra began questioning the cowering locals about the identity of the invaders and the whereabouts of the Sage. Parkel, like me, stood and surveyed the carnage with a look of uncertainty wafting with the smoke across his boyish face. His frustration over Therra and Orlacc had been momentarily forgotten. After a while, Orlacc beckoned us together.
 
“My friends, fear not,” he said. “We shall avenge this good village of the deeds perpetrated by those bastards my stepfather sent. But in the meantime, we have been given the location of the Sage’s den. I suggest we find him immediately.”
 
We all agreed to that pretty quickly! Anything had to be better than standing around, surrounded by the dead and dying. We followed Orlacc down a few of the village’s dirt roads, and soon we arrived at a stone hut. Water dripped from the thatched roof, and tiny trails of smoke from the recently extinguished fires rose into the air. The wooden door had been battered in, and it was half off its hinges. We all looked at each other, and, seeing nothing better to do, we pushed the door open and entered. It was pitch dark inside the hut, and I couldn’t make out any people or furniture.
 
“Maybe he left?” I asked.
 
“Quiet, Morrela—!”
 
Suddenly, from out of the darkness, someone leapt on Orlacc’s back before he could finish yelling at me. A silver knife blade caught the light. There were sounds of scuffling, and then, apparently, Orlacc pinned his attacker.
 
“Unhand me! Unhand me!” a shrill voice cried. “Haven’t you monsters done enough damage for one day?”
 
Orlacc’s voice growled out of the blackness. “Listen, you little old pip-squeak! We’ve come for your help—not to harm you!”
 
All at once, a sizzling ball of luminescence appeared in the middle of the room, flooding it with a watery green light. Orlacc was on the floor on top of a little old Chinese guy in a robe. The skin of the man’s face, hands, and feet was spotted with brown and folded into hundreds of intricate wrinkles, and his long ponytail was the color of rock salt, but even with these cues, I was hard-pressed to guess his age—he could have been 65 or 99. His features seemed to shift a bit in the unearthly light.
 
The rest of us were arrayed about the room. A bloodied dagger lay on the ground.
 
“Well then,” the little old man started, “let me up and tell me who you are.”


- End Excerpt -

Wordcount vs. Waiting for Inspiration

The Year of Our Lad (as some folks here in the Boston, MA, area might pronounce it) 2015 has been a toughie for this writer so far. It's been tough getting going after the daze of Xmas/New Year's/etc. I had been turning out (or turning in?) some words on my novel most days, but, so far this year, I've only really had one productive day. So I got a bit mopey about it on Facebook, and ...

Most of my writer friends understand the battle. You want to get into a routine. You want to produce every day (of course you want what you produce to be great, but you also just want to Get Stuff Done). If it ain't great, you can always revise it to be so at some point down the road.

But others - even a few writers - will say "only do it (write) when you're inspired." "You don't want to turn out half-hearted crap."

And they've got a point. I don't.

So how to strike a balance? How to keep momentum going ... keep in practice ... while not turning writing into a chore or "necessary evil," like exercise can be?

I'm not sure I've got an answer. In fact, I'd love suggestions. I will say that I've sometimes made progress by just doing it and not really paying attention to whether I'm making progress or not. And then I look back and see that, yeah, I've made some progress. It's been like that the past few months. NaNoWriMo came along for November, and, while I knew I wouldn't be able to really participate, I decided to TRY and turn out some words every day. I didn't, but I did it most days. And, in the process, I put down about 10,000 words in November. That's not an astounding amount, but it definitely blew away what I usually did. And I did a lot in December, too.

And then I hit January, and ... thud. Hardly anything. What gives?

Anyhow ... I've been in this game long enough to know I'll figure it out, at least I'll figure some of it out. I'll be writing again and getting some great words down. It's just a matter of when and how. But there are some "blocks" I have in general that I'd love to defeat ... perfectionism being the biggest. Anyone else have problems like these? What do you do?

I'll close this entry with a couple of requests: If you like this blog, consider following, please, so I know you're interested. Also, if you've read either my book or short story, which are both available on Amazon, please, please, please leave at least a short review ... even one sentence.

A writer likes to know someone is reading. Sure, we dream up/live these stories for ourselves, but the main reason to write them down is to share them with others!

THANKS!